Over my years of writing for The Paper, I have never taken a break from the grind like I have the last few months, but like a nightmare, I’ve returned once again in an attempt to entertain my readers. Last year about this same time, I published part one of “Wow, What a Trip” and like many Hollywood movies, probably doesn’t deserve a sequel, but you're getting one anyway.

Let me take just a minute to refresh your memories of “Wow, What a Trip”, just to alleviate the possibility of losing any one along the way. Last summer I received a suspicious e-mail, directing me to attend a clandestine meeting in Austin. I received this e-mail around the same time of “E-Mail Gate”, and the “conspiracy theorist” side of my persona kicked into overdrive and I believed it was an attempt to lure me to an ACORN re-education camp.

Even though there were many “Hope and Change” bumper stickers around the designated meeting place, I was relieved to find an engagement party for my nephew, Guy, and his future bride, Nancy. Part Deux will take me on a journey across the Rio Grand and into Mexico, to attend their wedding and what I would have to figure on being one of the most memorable trips I will ever make to that Country.

Every journey begins with a single step, here that would’ve been making reservations and travel arrangements to our destination, but Guy had everything planed out, right down to a time line of events for after our arrival. This was a good thing since my middle name is procrastination, and if left to me, I would’ve missed the wedding by at least a week or two. So, I guess mine and Kim’s first step was to pack, not to miss our ride to the airport or our flight to Mexico.

I found on arriving at the airport, we had just made the two hour window to clear security, with only a few minutes to spare. It was funny, but when I unloaded our luggage from the car, it seemed there were more bags than I remembered putting in the car. On further inspection, I found three stowaways hiding in their own suitcase trying to make their way with us, I had to get the members of the herd out and send them home with “Grandma”, and clearly the dachshunds were just a little upset.

One problem solved and now it was like mice in a maze, moving station to station through security and at the end instead of a chunk of cheese, I found a guy wearing rubber gloves and greeting me with one of the leeriest grins I had ever seen. Now, it probably would have gone over better, if before arriving at this point, they wouldn’t have had me strip down to my skivvies. After a few minutes of feeling like a girl on Prom night, I was instructed that I was clear to proceed to the gate, with a single tear streaking its way down my check; I redressed and left for the plane.

The flight, itself, was pretty uneventful with the exception to completing some paperwork for Mexican Officials, which needed to be ready on our arrival at Cabo. The problem with the paperwork was that it was in one language, Spanish, with no button to push for English and I was probably agreeing to host a foreign exchange student. On landing, taxiing to the terminal and parking, I noticed the ground crew pushing stairs to the side of the plane for our exit.

As the door of the plane swung, open, not only was I greeted by the heat of Mexico but about thirty security personnel, who were spaced about five foot between one another to ensure we didn’t wander from the path to Customs. I was really glad to see the precaution they took to make sure none of us unruly American’s made a break for the freedoms of Mexico, wishing they would make the same effort at the border.

We were then herded into a Customs inspection area to have our documents verified, and to ensure we weren’t trying to smuggle anything in, like drinking water. After clearing the first hurdle in this foreign maze of security, we gathered our luggage and moved onto the last security check point, where they checked the form I completed on the plane. The two female security persons read my answers for the questions, looked at each other and began to snicker, and told me to push the large red button at their station and move on.

The red button was puzzling to me, what did it do, alert the cab drivers that another American was headed out, because I was met by about a hundred of them bidding for my business. On finding our ground transport to the resort, we had a few minutes to take a rest before leaving. While standing outside by the bus, Kim made comment, as she looked over the desert and cactus, I sure do miss Arizona. I cut a glare at Kim, even though I knew where the comment came from, but the twenty taxi drivers wagering on our arriving safely at our destination, didn’t.

Well, we made it to our resort without incident, but word must have traveled with us about Kim’s comment, after checking in, I got to carry our luggage to the room, and I didn’t even get a tip. Shortly after getting settled, Kim and I went to check out the resort and to locate an adult beverage, which was found at the pool side bar. This bartender and I became good friends during our stay, keeping my drink full does, wonders for my friend making ability and my Spanish.

Over the next few days, Kim and I got to relax and catch some rays, both at pool side and along the beach. On my first trip out to the pool, I was glad to have opted for the baggy swim trucks over my Speedo, before heading out, I checked my physic in the mirror and with my farmers tan and pony keg abs, I was a picture that only a mother could love. During our stay, I kept noticing a group of several people following me around while I was walking along the beach. I finally asked one of them as to why they had been following me and he replied “were with Mexico’s version of PETA and were just here to make sure you don’t get harpooned”.

After a wonderful vacation and a great wedding, we headed back to America and the security mazes on both sides of the border. There are many other stories to share with you about this trip and they will be coming soon, but I would like to end this column by congratulating Guy and Nancy on their marriage and inviting us to join them on this very special day.